[vc_row][one_whole][vc_column_text]Ok – so I thought that one might get your attention!If you’re getting close to FINALLY having had enough of things not going right and being hard work, then you won’t want to miss today’s article. I’m sharing with you some Ancient Wisdom and a whole bunch of solutions. No lettuces were hurt in the production of this article. 😉
The lovely Andrea Lee reminded me of a story told Thích Nhất Hạnh today:
“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.
Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce.Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument.
That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change”Thích Nhất Hạnh
And it goes even deeper than that.
It’s not just about our relationships – the ‘blaming-the-lettuce-syndrome’ applies to EVERYTHING we create in our lives.
If we fall in love with a dream project, but it doesn’t go to plan, we blame the lettuce.
If our career falls apart or we don’t bag that dream promotion or amazing customer, we blame the lettuce.
If we feel exhausted or fed up or miserable or lost or stuck or confused or stressed or anxious, chances are we’re blaming the lettuce.
Whenever the warning signs come up that we’re blocking our Abundance – that we’re sabotaging our health, happiness, vitality, energy levels, relationships and success – we blame the lettuce.
We do whatever we can to avoid looking in the mirror and taking responsibility for the choices we have made – for the thoughts, words and actions that were ours and ours alone.
When life falls apart and Abundance flies out of the window, it’s much easier to blame the lettuce than to look in the mirror and do something about it.
In fact, we go further than that. We don’t just blame the lettuce, we use it as our excuse – our justification for why things didn’t work out the way we wanted.
But blaming the lettuce means you’re throwing away your personal power – you’re keeping yourself stuck, because the lettuce is never going to do anything to change things for you.
Because YOU and ONLY YOU hold the power to make the changes your Soul has been dreaming of. You can always CHOOSE to change you thoughts, your words and your actions.
And that can transform your experience of life.
And, what’s even more amazing, is that you don’t have to wait to take back control and make those changes, you can start with your very next breath. If you want to.[/vc_column_text][/one_whole][/vc_row][vc_row][one_whole][vc_column_text]
Let’s do it – right now!
- Sit or stand comfortably, with your back fairly straight, your chin tucked gently under and your shoulders relaxed, your eyes softly closed.
- Think of something that feels ‘stuck’ or ‘broken’ in your life (make it a 2-3 out of 10 for this round!)
- Take a deep breath in through your nose and breathe out through your mouth with an ‘ahhh’ sound, as you let go of stress and tension. Do this 3 times.
- Now let yourself rest for a few moments, simply observing the physical sensations of your breathing – and if your mind wanders, gently guide it back to watching your breath.
- When you feel ready:
- as you breathe in, say to yourself, “I reclaim my power to choose.”
- as you breathe out, say to yourself, “I let go and trust my Inner Wisdom.”
- Keep doing this for the next few minutes, allowing yourself to feel grounded – and perhaps noticing the sense of relief as you let go of trying so hard and you stand in your Soul’s power.
- Now, when you feel that process has created a shift, with each in-breath and each out-breath, say to yourself, “I AM ABUNDANT!” Keep going for at least 10 breaths, allowing “I am Abundant!” to effortlessly permeate every cell in your body.
- When you feel ready, gently release the practice, dedicating its power to someone or somewhere who needs that energy – because sharing the energy helps it to grow.
- Open your eyes, have a good stretch and notice what has shifted for you.
So how did you get on? What did you notice? Perhaps you’d like to tell me, via the comments?
Which areas of your life are screaming at you (however silently!) to stop blocking your Abundance, to stop blaming the lettuce?
It would be an honour to help you more on this, if your heart is calling you to dive in and make some changes.
How about joining me us for my 28 Day Abundance Blocks training? Find out for yourself why people are raving about this course – and how it is empowering them to finally release the blocks they didn’t realise were holding them back: Click here to find out more & register now.
Absolutely no worries if it’s not for you! But I’d be being unfair if I didn’t let you know and you missed out. 🙂
I hope today’s technique has helped you. If it has, please do share it with your friends via Facebook / Twitter etc. And thank you for taking the time to run through it. Your ‘future you’ is busy doing a happy dance right now!
See you soon!
With love, Namaste,
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I want to share with you two Insider Secrets that your Soul really wants you to hear – and they might just change your life forever – in the next few minutes.
It took me many, many years to ‘get’ them. And I’m hoping to short cut that ride for you 😉
All you need to do is to read this article, try the ideas on for size, and if they resonate, then woo hoo! That’s your life changed! I can’t make it much easier than that, can I?
[Read more…] about The #1 Insider Secret Your Soul Wants You To Hear – Today
In the business world, is our obsession with ‘personal development’ and ‘strengthening our weaknesses’ actually achieving the opposite of its intention? Is it perhaps leading to a torrent of under-performance and stress-related illness? As well as negatively impacting the company’s bottom line?
Should we re-think – or ‘re-feel’ – how we’re approaching developing our teams – and ourselves – to create a happier, more productive, more passionate workforce? Here’s an idea for a simple midset shift that could transform your team in a heart beat.
[Read more…] about It’s Ok Not To Be Perfect! A Simple Mindset-Shift That Could Transform Your Team (And Your Life!) In A Heartbeat
We all know that feeling… You’re totally fired up and about to start doing something really important and you know it’s a bit of a comfort zone stretch… And that little voice in your head starts talking… It’s telling you all the reasons why you won’t be any good at it and how you’re never any good at anything… And you know you believe it, because it’s told you often enough over the years… You feel that tightness in your stomach, your body tenses and you feel fear and panic rising…
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
You don’t have to live on the whim of your Inner Critic – your negative self-talk – you can tame it – today. And it’s surprisingly easy, when you know how.
But, before we start:
How do you know if you’ve got an Inner Critic?
You’ll KNOW if you run an Inner Critic programme. The most common side effects include:
- Low self-esteem – you beat yourself up each time you try to do something important and it’s fantastic at reminding you about your mistakes
- Stress – your Inner Critic is responsible for the vast majority of stress in your life
- Self-sabotage – just when you’re about to achieve what you have been dreaming of, your Inner Critic leaps in and pulls the rug from under you
- Insomnia – if you’re lying awake at 3am, then chances are it’s your Inner Critic choosing the bedtime stories
- Feeling exhausted – your Inner Critic is running the show on everything from your physical health and your energy levels, through to your emotional and mental health
- ‘Ok-ness’ – the Inner Critic is the biggest single reason why most of us put up with a life that’s ‘ok’, rather than ‘great’
- Guilt – your Inner Critic is incredible at reminding you about all the things you didn’t do or the ways you let people down (its words, not mine!)
Some of my clients and students go so far as to call their Inner Critic their ‘own worst enemy’. Strong stuff.
Feels familiar? Are you fed up enough of it yet? Then here are five techniques you can use today to tame that critic and move on with a happier life!
Is it time to tame your Inner Critic?
Here are 5 sure-fire techniques you can use today.
I have been where you are with my Inner Critic – and it sometimes pops back and reminds me it’s there, when I least suspect it. But, fortunately, after over a decade as an NLP Trainer and a Meditation Teacher, as well as being a reformed Mechanical Engineer, I have developed plenty of practical strategies to handle it – fast.
Here are five of my favourite ‘do-them-today’ techniques to help you to tame your Inner Critic and to set yourself free from its negativity.
Let’s start by setting the record straight: although most of us identify pretty strongly with our inner critics, we are not the same thing as our critic. It is JUST a train of thought – a sound-track that we’re used to playing.
No matter how it might feel, it isn’t actually real.
When you realise that, it gives you the power to make changes.
But while you’re falling into the trap of believing that you and your inner critic are one-and-the-same being, then it will always hold the power.
Quick Fix: When you feel an Inner Critic thought coming up, press pause (yes, you can do that) and remind yourself: “This is not who I am. This is a thought I am thinking,” and let it go. Feel the relief bubbling up.
I’m not suggesting you indulge your Inner Critic’s every whim. But I AM strongly suggesting you don’t out-right reject it, fight it or try to ‘get rid’ of it. Why?
Because, as Carl Jung pointed out:
What you resist persists – and that goes for your Inner Critic, too.
So if you fight your Inner Critic, you are resisting it. That means you’re giving it loads of attention, you’re giving it 100% of your head space (free rent!) and you’re spending loads of time thinking about it.
Like a tantruming child, feed that Inner Critic and it’ll learn to do more of what got it the attention it wanted. That’s why I talk about ‘taming’ your Inner Critic, rather than ‘getting rid’ of it. You’re retraining the part of you that runs it, instead of rejecting part of yourself, which will only ever lead to pain and conflict.
Quick Fix: When your Inner Critic gets ranting, stop what you’re doing and notice that it’s there (then it doesn’t need to shout so loudly). Say a silent, “Thank you,” (even if you don’t feel like it – but it’s the opposite of ‘rejecting’) and then consciously choose a happy thought.
If you’d like to discover how to become a total pro at this, then meditation and mindfulness could be your best friends.
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Your Inner Critic loves drama and makes the nation’s favourite soap operas look dull, in comparison with the stories going on in your head. We all LOVE drama. That’s why people love to gossip. It’s why they love to share stories. The more dramatic, the better.
Unfortunately, when it comes to your Inner Critic’s stories, the more you feed them, the worse you feel and the further you move from that amazing life you have been dreaming of.
Quick Fix: Stop feeding the stories. When you feel an Inner Critic conversation coming on, press pause and consciously choose about whether you want to dive in to that drama, or whether you want to focus on something else instead.
It doesn’t matter how far you have gone into the ‘drama’ before you realise, you can always press pause and come on out again.
If you’re feeling stuck, right now, grab the nearest small object to you, pick it up in your hand and really see it – see how the light reflects on it, how the shapes and contours give it its form. Feel the weight of it in your hand. Feel the textures. And then – the icing on the cake – take a moment to connect with that object, from your heart, and to thank it for whatever it does for you. Aim to do this for about a minute in total and it will physically shift the biochemistry in your body, releasing endorphins and helping you to feel happier.
There. Story paused. And you can move on with a more empowering mood!
Yikes! That’s a biggie! How often do you use the word ‘should’ in a typical day? I should do such-and-such. I ought to go to that meeting, even though I don’t really want to. I should offer to help Fred this weekend…
It’s there like a naff theme tune in our day-to-day lives. But… How does ‘should’ make you feel?
I’m guessing it triggers a sinking feeling in your stomach, a slouching of your shoulders and back and a frown on your face.
And your Inner Critic is addicted to ‘should’ – because it knows it’s a great way to get our attention!
Quick Fix: If you feel ‘should’ coming up, pause and ask yourself:
And let the answer bubble up. Notice what comes up for you and use it to gain insight into old auto-pilot behaviours that might have been keeping you stuck. Awareness is the first key to change – through choice. You can choose whether or not you want to respond to ‘should’ – or whether you want to make conscious choices about your thoughts, words and actions, instead.
Most of us listen slavishly to that negative self-talk, replaying it over and over, especially when we’re stressed.
But you don’t actually have to listen to it. Just because you’re having a thought, you don’t have to tune your radio to that frequency for the whole day. You CAN choose to turn down the volume and just let your Inner Critic get on with whatever it is complaining about, in the background. Here’s a scenario:
Quick Fix: Imagine a scene in a classic sit-com – the wife is ear-bashing her husband for some mistake he has made, he carries on calmly reading his newspaper (or nowadays Tablet) and nodding politely. When she has fully vented her spleen, she demands to know what her husband thinks of what she has said.
“That’s nice, Dear,” is the only response she gets.
He does get rattled. He doesn’t argue back. He totally rides the wave of her drama and annoys the hell out of her by refusing to dance the destructive dance.
What would happen if you were to play that game with your Inner Critic, once in a while? Give it a good old “That’s nice dear” and then ask it a question about something that moves things forwards, such as, “I’m wondering… What would you most like to do next?” And watch what happens!
Time For Action!
So, which techniques are you going to use today? And when you have tried them out, let me know which shifts you notice, via the comments box, below.
If you enjoyed this article, please share it far and wide via Social Media – it’s my gift to you.
Here’s a tweetable – to make it easy!
Tweet this: Had enough of your inner critic yet? 5 sure-fire techniques to tame it today!
And here’s an image you can share on Facebook – just click on it and click the ‘share’ link to spread the word about taming your Inner Critic!
I really hope you found these techniques useful. Of course, we’re just scratching the surface here. If you’re feeling inspired to dive in more deeply and deal with that pesky Inner Critic, once and for all, then make sure you’re watching your inbox this winter, because Taming Your Inner Critic will be one of the courses for my gorgeous Gold Members of Dancing In Your Soul-Shoes!
It’s a six week programme that will help you to deal with that pesky Inner Critic – once and for all. Woo hoo!
With love, Namaste,